There are two sorts of people that I know, those who think about their lives and situations and those who would rather do almost anything so that they don’t have to spend a single second in self reflection. Self reflection for the latter group is apparently self indulgent, selfish, stupid and a waste of time.
Now from long observation I notice that folks who take the time for self reflection have a clearer sense of who they are, and who they are not. They know what they think, have a sense of their values and where their personal line in the sand is drawn.
The group which believes all reflection is a waste of time, seem to me to be loose cannons in their own lives and too often in the lives of others as well.
We are not born knowing how to do positive self reflection. Some of us grew up in chaotic households and married into hectic ones, leaving us barely enough time to dress or shower in peace, never mind an extended and quiet time for thinking. Others of us had intense and demanding work lives, and we all know that parenting the young leaves little time for much else.
As we approach our 50’s or as our children begin to leave the nest, things begin to quiet down somewhat. There’s an opportunity to take an hour or a weekend perhaps, just to think. This is a challenge for anyone, but particularly for those who have never done it. The sense that time is running out, or certainly that it is finite makes us want to rush into doing more and more and more. Only thing is, without the self reflection, how do we know what to do that is satisfying or even what it is important to do in this particular life stage?
Engaging in a life-review or beginning to write memoir stories or sketches is a kind-to-the-sensibilities entry to self reflection.
It should be noted that self reflection is a necessary part of adult development, but becomes more important as we get older. We need to think about where we’ve been so that we can chart a direction for the future that has purpose and meaning.
Learning to be alone with yourself, facing your truth, discovering and exploring your interests, passions, curiosity, finding out what you really think and feel about everything in your life is like exploring a new and wondrous frontier. You never know what you might find or what might be required of you when you do find it.
This is anything but a self indulgent waste of time, it a essential part of your development into a healthy and vital older adult. I suggest it is even the making of wisdom.
- Are you comfortable with self reflection?
- Do you have a favourite place where you find it easier to engage in self reflection?
- What does self reflection mean to you?
